Experiences Shape Us...They Do Not Define Us.

Sometimes in life you need to do what you said you would do.

I have failed at that... a lot. I have a fear of failure.

What did I realize?

That by having that fear I end up setting myself up for nothing. No failure, no success. The ladder made me wake up.

So today I am writing about a topic that is touching my life at this moment.

Can we shape ourselves into who we want to be? Or are we stuck on who life has shaped us to be?

I think it depends on one simple thing. Your decision about the question at hand.

I am who I want to be. I have not been the best but I have not been the worst. I have had life decisions to make where I failed to make the right one. That can only shape who I am if I allow it, or it can make me be someone who is not living as their Higher Self.

My experiences simply teach me lessons. What I gather from those is up to me.

Perhaps I have failed to see the teachings, I am after all, human.

There are times when we let ourselves be controlled by something other than our True Self, our friend The Ego. We do things to make ourselves feel better, we do things to impress others, we do things that hurt others or we do things that help others only if it helps us too. Those things and more stem from a fear.

In my case that fear is of not being good enough, not being understood, not succeeding or not feeling appreciated. There is no bad motive behind a lot of the things we do but they create a space where we are not who we should be. Who we know we can be. That is a decision that can be made at any time though and we need to understand that.

I have chosen to gear myself to a higher place. A place of love and understanding. To others but more importantly towards myself.

I can choose to be whoever I want. I do not need to let my past define me. It hasn't killed me so it has only made me stronger - as cliche as that may sound.

Looking back at mistakes you have made can help you decide who you do not want to be; you do not have to make those mistakes again. Yet sometimes, we need to make those mistakes a few times before we realize what we are doing to others and ourselves.

The interesting part is figuring out that anything you do that hurts another, also hurts you. It is your character that gets damaged by not allowing your Higher Self to shine through. Sometimes we use the blame game, we say we do things because another did to us. Sometimes we are so blind that we do not see that the person is doing something FOR us and not TO us. Which is easier said than done, but it is doable.

This person is trying to show you something. They are trying to teach you something about yourself. Whether it is a strength or a weakness.

The people who we need to cherish are the ones that do both. Those are the souls that were sent to us to make us realize we can be all we want to be, while teaching us our dark side, thus, who we (hopefully) do not want to be.

It is hard sometimes to accept both sides of the coin. It gets exhausting, sad, angry, but also loving, caring, joyful, exciting, happy, amazing, exhilirating, and satisfying.

This is why some people come and go from our lives and others stay.

We build connections sometimes without noticing. These connections are what essentially keeps us around each other despite the bad and the ugly. We should not be blind when it comes to this. We must trust the connections we build.

All we can do is show that we are not afraid to fail. That we are who we are but can choose to be otherwise. We can always get one step closer to our Higher Self. All we have to do is be aware. Realizing we do things because of ourselves, not because of others. We act towards others in a way that we feel about ourselves. We attract what we need. The good and bad.

However, I have chosen to be happy, satisfied, englightened and loving. To myself and to others. We can gather good karma by having good intentions. We can get rid of bad karma by showing people kindness, love, support and understanding, even when we think they do not deserve it. Because that will make our character shine through.